Guilt

I can tell others I communicate with in online support groups to not feel guilt but then it is actually a mutual effort for me to also work on having no guilt because I just put my husband in a home on June 30 and am adjusting, myself. The first two weeks were total depression and loss of his presence. Last week was a little better. This week the facility is getting a much better grasp on his care and pain management, which is helping me feel less guilty and get a grip on the fact that his quality of life will be the same in either place now, because he doesn't even ask about home at all. 

It only took 4 weeks for a cognitive decline from June 4 when he was asking to return home less than 12 hours after admission for a Hospice inpatient respite stay; and when he was admitted to the nursing facility and hasn't even asked about home. RAPID and drastic change. For me, that's the only part that makes this a bit easier...that he isn't constantly begging to come back home, and yet that decline is depressing all by itself.